This weekend while sorting through some long-neglected boxes in my garage, I discovered a collection of “books” I had written as a child. Some had clearly been written for class assignments, but others seemed to be projects I embarked on voluntarily. A few had been started with obvious enthusiasm and then abandoned suddenly mid-paragraph. Many of them showed evidence of my undiagnosed ADHD. They all brought back vivid memories of the role writing had in how I made sense of the world as a child. Writing was a way to record my daydreams and process strong emotions that often felt overwhelming and relentless. I’m fairly certain writing even saved a few teenage friendships from imploding, after a teacher taught me to compose angry letters and then wait 24 hours before deciding to send them.

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In early adulthood, writing morphed from something I did for myself into something I had to do for others. In college I found myself stuck, unable to start papers until the last minute. Once I got started I almost always enjoyed the process and was proud of the completed work, but at that same time felt frustrated that I had wasted so much time trying to figure out how to get started. It wasn’t until after my ADHD diagnosis that I began to better understand why something I loved could be so challenging to engage in.

For me, the act of writing can be incredibly regulating, but everything else that goes along with it can send my nervous into a state of imbalance.

Why ADHD writers can’t ignore emotional regulation

Sharing your thoughts and stories for others to consume can feel like an incredibly vulnerable act. Our work can leave us open to judgement and criticism. It can expose our opinions and deepest thoughts. It allows others a glimpse into our inner world. In many ways this can be incredibly healing, but it can also be emotionally dysregulating.

While emotional regulation struggles are not a symptom in the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, the majority of specialists believe it should be. In fact, research has shown approximately 73% of adults report significant issues with emotional regulation. Unfortunately, this omission from the diagnostic criteria means many ADHDers are advised to direct their bandwidth towards improving more widely discussed symptoms like focus and impulsivity. While this is a worthy allocation of resources, it ignores the fact that any tools or strategies we acquire will be difficult to engage with when we are too dysregulated to access them.

How to recognize when dysregulation is behind your writer’s block

Some signs of emotional dysregulation are impossible to miss. Unwieldy rage and uncontrollable tears are obvious signs of dysregulation, but others can be more subtle. Dysregulation can be behind physical changes like headaches, tensed shoulders, a clenched jaw and stomach pain. Sometimes being dysregulated looks like feeling frozen, apathetic and avoidant. What many label as procrastination, can actually be a sign that your nervous system has something to process before it can engage in a task.

If you often find yourself wanting or needing to get some words on the page but can’t bring yourself to start, it’s worth spending time to tune into your emotional state before you set a timer or open a productivity app.

How can ADHD writers grow their emotional regulation skills

Before emotional regulation skills can be improved we first must notice our unique signs that we are dysregulated. Take some time to notice both the physical and mental signs that show up when you are outside of a regulated state. Record these signs and review them often as you seek to get better at recognizing dysregulation.

After you have improved your ability to know you are dysregulated, start identifying common thoughts or experiences that trigger this state.

Do you set aside time to write after lunch but are too angry to engage with your work after checking your phone and reading news updates? Make a note of this.

Do you sit down to complete a mostly written Substack draft but avoid opening the document because you fear a painful RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) reaction that may come after a post receives little interaction? This is important information to record.

Once you get better at noticing the signs of dysregulation and the situations that trigger it, you can create strategies that help you process stress, stay regulated more often and recover faster from a dysregulated state.

Building Regulation Into the Writing Process

When I was writing my book It All Makes Sense Now I was going through an incredibly stressful period of my life. Thankful I had already began better understanding the role of regulation in my ability to engage with writing and was able to employ strategies to prioritize staying in a state that was productive for me work.

One strategy that helped me tremendously was to build in 10-20 minute walks before and after the writing blocks I pre-planned on my calendar. I intentionally used this time to check in with myself, notice the feelings I currently had about writing and process any thoughts that might interfere with my writing session. The movement itself also helped clear stress and regulate my mood. When I skipped this strategy, I often noticed it took much more time and effort to engage with writing.

Ultimately throughout the experience of writing my book it was reinforced that emotional regulation isn’t a side skill. It’s foundational. It determines whether the tools we’ve collected are accessible and whether our ambition can be matched by our capacity. Perhaps most importantly, it influences whether writing feels like therapy or a threat.

How do you regulate the intense emotions that can interfere with writing? Share your strategies with the community in the comments.

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Tomorrow, Tuesday, February 3rd, we’re kicking off an 8-week body double challenge for paid subscribers of ADHD Writers.

We’ll meet every Tuesday for one focused hour
🕛 12pm PT / 3pm ET

This is your built-in excuse to sit down and write, with the gentle accountability of other ADHD writers.

👉 Subscribe to ADHD Writers to join us and write alongside the community.

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Paid subscribers, find the zoom link below and we will see you tomorrow!

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Next week (Tuesday, February 3rd), we are hosting an 8-week body double challenge for paid subscribers of ADHD Writers!

We’ll be meeting for an hour every Tuesday at 12pm PT / 3pm ET.

I’m excited for the “excuse” of getting to focus on some writing, something that I love and know is important, but man life sure can get busy… …

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As we head into the final stretch of the year, I wanted to let you know that we’re taking a pause for December. If you’re a paid subscriber, your subscription has already been paused. There’s nothing you need to do on your end. We’re using this time to recharge and plan some truly exciting updates for when we return in January.

What’s Co…

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Our session will take place at 12:00 p.m. PT, 3:00 ET

Zoom link is at the end of this email.

What to expect

During our body doubling sessions we will work alongside each other via zoom to boost motivation and provide gentle accountability. Plus, there is the added benefit of having time reserved specifically to write.

Each session will begin with brief introductions and the opportunity to set an intention for the time. You are more than welcome to participate with or without your camera on and can share intentions in the chat if you prefer.

We’ll spend most of our time working independently, but before our session concludes there will be an opportunity to share wins and challenges with the group.

Bring any writing related project you’d like a nudge on, and we’ll be there to cheer you on.

Too long, didn’t read? Here’s the schedule:

1. Brief intros + set your intention (~5m)

2. Work independently on your writing (on or off camera) (~45m)

3. Share wins/challenges (~5m)

When is it

Tomorrow, November 18th at 12pm PDT / 3pm EDT.

Session will be roughly an hour long. Please note the timezones! 🙂

How to join

Read more

Our session will take place at 12:00 p.m. PT, 3:00 ET

Zoom link is at the end of this email.

What to expect

During our body doubling sessions we will work alongside each other via zoom to boost motivation and provide gentle accountability. Plus, there is the added benefit of having time reserved specifically to write.

Each session will begin with brief introductions and the opportunity to set an intention for the time. You are more than welcome to participate with or without your camera on and can share intentions in the chat if you prefer.

We’ll spend most of our time working independently, but before our session concludes there will be an opportunity to share wins and challenges with the group.

Bring any writing related project you’d like a nudge on, and we’ll be there to cheer you on.

Too long, didn’t read? Here’s the schedule:

1. Brief intros + set your intention (~5m)

2. Work independently on your writing (on or off camera) (~45m)

3. Share wins/challenges (~5m)

When is it

Tomorrow, October 21st at 12pm PDT / 3pm EDT.

Session will be roughly an hour long. Please note the timezones! 🙂

How to join

Read more

Conversations in ADHD writing spaces often revolve around the classic symptoms that have an obvious impact on performing our craft. We share best practices to improve focus and tips for cultivating routines. These topics deserve our time, but there is one that is often neglected, our ability to tolerate the visibility th…

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Normally we do these once a month for our paid subscribers, but in honor of ADHD awareness month, this event will be open for anyone to attend! We’ll be chatting all things ADHD + Writing and sharing what works for us and answering all your questions! We can’t wait to see you …

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It’s funny how writing can be really difficult or really easy depending on the environment in which you write.

I don’t mean the physical environment (though that can have a big effect too!), I’m more thinking about the context or situation or even app you might be using to write.

If I open up a fancy writing app, start a brand new empty document, and set out to write a new masterful essay that I hope will revolutionize people’s thinking and change their perspective forever, and will become a piece of writing I can refer to and share for years to come… guess what I’ll be staring at after a couple hours?

You guessed it: a fancy writing app with a brand new document that is STILL completely empty. The weight of the writing feels like too much and it will likely feel too difficult to even get started.

But put me in another situation, like a good friend asking me questions about a topic I know well? I might send 50 or more text messages over the span of 20 minutes in that conversation. I’ll chat your ear off with the words I’m typing, message after message without me even realizing how much I’m “writing” in our conversation.

One part of that is that I happen to have the type of brain that really loves helping people by sharing things I’ve learned. So I get a lot of JOY when I’m able to help someone directly.

But another big part is that it lowers the expectations, it lowers the pressure, the weight. I don’t have to writing something masterful and brilliant. I’m just writing something helpful for a friend.

When I was writing my book, Extra Focus, I often would start a chapter by putting someone’s name at the top. I would start with “Hey John,” which was always the name of a real person I knew, and then I would proceed to pretend I was just writing them a letter or an email answering the question I hoped to answer in that chapter of my book.

It wasn’t perfect writing, but it WAS WRITING! Pretending to write a letter helped me power through the blank page and get words on paper.

You can even take this to the extreme and write inside your email app, or your text messaging app. Maybe you create a free Google Voice number and start texting it your writing, pretending you’re helping a friend but actually getting those cloudy concepts in your brain out into actual words in the real world.

Whatever it takes to make those words real.

P.S. Next week, October 7th at 12pm PT / 3pm (ET), we’re doing a live Q&A for anyone!

Normally we do these once a month for our paid subscribers, but this event will be open for anyone to attend! We’ll be chatting all things ADHD + Writing and sharing what works for us and answering all your questions! We can’t wait to see you all there.

Make sure to subscribe so you’ll get the reminder email next week with the link!

Subscribe now

Our sessions will take place at 12:00 p.m. PT, 3:00 ET

Zoom link is at the end of this email.

What to expect

During our body doubling sessions we will work alongside each other via zoom to boost motivation, and provide gentle accountability. Plus, there is the added benefit of having time reserved specifically to write.

Each session will begin with brief introductions and the opportunity to set an intention for the time. You are more than welcome to participate with or without your camera on and can share intentions in the chat if you prefer.

We’ll spend most of our time working independently, but before our session concludes there will be an opportunity to share wins and challenges with the group.

Bring any writing related project you’d like a nudge on, and we’ll be there to cheer you on.

Too long, didn’t read? Here’s the schedule:

1. Brief intros + set your intention (~5m)

2. Work independently on your writing (on or off camera) (~45m)

3. Share wins/challenges (~5m)

When is it

Today, September 23rd at 12pm PDT / 3pm EDT.

Session will be roughly an hour long. Please note the timezones! 🙂

How to join

Read more

Zoom link is at the end of this email.

If you aren’t a paid member, you can sign up here to join us:

Subscribe now

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Last week, I recorded a podcast episode with John Jay Van Es, host of the nationally syndicated John Jay and Rich radio show. During our conversation he asked me “How did yo…

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Based on subscriber feedback, we are trying a new time. Sessions will now take place at 12:00 p.m. PT, 3:00 ET

Zoom link is at the end of this email.

What to expect

During our body doubling sessions we will work alongside each other via zoom to boost motivation, and provide gentle accountability. Plus, there is the added benefit of having time reserved specifically to write.

Each session will begin with brief introductions and the opportunity to set an intention for the time. You are more than welcome to participate with or without your camera on and can share intentions in the chat if you prefer.

We’ll spend most of our time working independently, but before our session concludes there will be an opportunity to share wins and challenges with the group.

Bring any writing related project you’d like a nudge on, and we’ll be there to cheer you on.

Too long, didn’t read? Here’s the schedule:

1. Brief intros + set your intention (~5m)

2. Work independently on your writing (on or off camera) (~45m)

3. Share wins/challenges (~5m)

When is it

Tuesday, August 25th at 12pm PDT / 3pm EDT.

Session will be roughly an hour long. Please note the timezones! 🙂

How to join

Read more

Zoom link is at the end of this email.

If you aren’t a paid member, you can sign up here to join us:

Subscribe now

Read more

A few days after my first book was sold on proposal, I hopped on a Zoom call with my assigned editor to discuss next steps.

At one point, she pulled up the timeline and said something like, “I just wanted to double check…do you really think you want the deadline for the first draft of the manuscript to be three months after…

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Based on subscriber feedback, we are trying a new time. Sessions will now take place at 12:00 p.m. PT, 3:00 ET

Zoom link is at the end of this email.

What to expect

During our body doubling sessions we will work alongside each other via zoom to boost motivation, and provide gentle accountability. Plus, there is the added benefit of having time reserved specifically to write.

Each session will begin with brief introductions and the opportunity to set an intention for the time. You are more than welcome to participate with or without your camera on and can share intentions in the chat if you prefer.

We’ll spend most of our time working independently, but before our session concludes there will be an opportunity to share wins and challenges with the group.

Bring any writing related project you’d like a nudge on, and we’ll be there to cheer you on.

Too long, didn’t read? Here’s the schedule:

1. Brief intros + set your intention (~5m)

2. Work independently on your writing (on or off camera) (~45m)

3. Share wins/challenges (~5m)

When is it

Tuesday, July 29th at 12pm PDT / 3pm EDT.

Session will be roughly an hour long. Please note the timezones! 🙂

How to join

Read more

I never really grew up thinking that I wanted to be a writer.

There was a time in 6th grade when a friend and I thought we would write our own spin-off from the Goosebumps franchise called Midnight Madness, but that dream died pretty quickly. Other than that, I had no real ambitions of ever writing again once I left school.

…

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Zoom link is at the end of this email.

If you aren’t a paid member, you can sign up here to join us:

Subscribe now

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Long before I was diagnosed with ADHD it was clear that I struggled to tolerate boredom. I’d be giddy with motivation when starting a new job. If I was tackling a new fitness goal, I’d be unstoppable. I embarked on new relationships with an overwhelming intensity.

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