Why ADHD Writers Can’t Ignore Emotional Regulation

This weekend while sorting through some long-neglected boxes in my garage, I discovered a collection of “books” I had written as a child. Some had clearly been written for class assignments, but others seemed to be projects I embarked on voluntarily. A few had been started with obvious enthusiasm and then abandoned suddenly mid-paragraph. Many of them showed evidence of my undiagnosed ADHD. They all brought back vivid memories of the role writing had in how I made sense of the world as a child. Writing was a way to record my daydreams and process strong emotions that often felt overwhelming and relentless. I’m fairly certain writing even saved a few teenage friendships from imploding, after a teacher taught me to compose angry letters and then wait 24 hours before deciding to send them.

In early adulthood, writing morphed from something I did for myself into something I had to do for others. In college I found myself stuck, unable to start papers until the last minute. Once I got started I almost always enjoyed the process and was proud of the completed work, but at that same time felt frustrated that I had wasted so much time trying to figure out how to get started. It wasn’t until after my ADHD diagnosis that I began to better understand why something I loved could be so challenging to engage in.

For me, the act of writing can be incredibly regulating, but everything else that goes along with it can send my nervous into a state of imbalance.

Why ADHD writers can’t ignore emotional regulation

Sharing your thoughts and stories for others to consume can feel like an incredibly vulnerable act. Our work can leave us open to judgement and criticism. It can expose our opinions and deepest thoughts. It allows others a glimpse into our inner world. In many ways this can be incredibly healing, but it can also be emotionally dysregulating.

While emotional regulation struggles are not a symptom in the diagnostic criteria for ADHD, the majority of specialists believe it should be. In fact, research has shown approximately 73% of adults report significant issues with emotional regulation. Unfortunately, this omission from the diagnostic criteria means many ADHDers are advised to direct their bandwidth towards improving more widely discussed symptoms like focus and impulsivity. While this is a worthy allocation of resources, it ignores the fact that any tools or strategies we acquire will be difficult to engage with when we are too dysregulated to access them.

How to recognize when dysregulation is behind your writer’s block

Some signs of emotional dysregulation are impossible to miss. Unwieldy rage and uncontrollable tears are obvious signs of dysregulation, but others can be more subtle. Dysregulation can be behind physical changes like headaches, tensed shoulders, a clenched jaw and stomach pain. Sometimes being dysregulated looks like feeling frozen, apathetic and avoidant. What many label as procrastination, can actually be a sign that your nervous system has something to process before it can engage in a task.

If you often find yourself wanting or needing to get some words on the page but can’t bring yourself to start, it’s worth spending time to tune into your emotional state before you set a timer or open a productivity app.

How can ADHD writers grow their emotional regulation skills

Before emotional regulation skills can be improved we first must notice our unique signs that we are dysregulated. Take some time to notice both the physical and mental signs that show up when you are outside of a regulated state. Record these signs and review them often as you seek to get better at recognizing dysregulation.

After you have improved your ability to know you are dysregulated, start identifying common thoughts or experiences that trigger this state.

Do you set aside time to write after lunch but are too angry to engage with your work after checking your phone and reading news updates? Make a note of this.

Do you sit down to complete a mostly written Substack draft but avoid opening the document because you fear a painful RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) reaction that may come after a post receives little interaction? This is important information to record.

Once you get better at noticing the signs of dysregulation and the situations that trigger it, you can create strategies that help you process stress, stay regulated more often and recover faster from a dysregulated state.

Building Regulation Into the Writing Process

When I was writing my book It All Makes Sense Now I was going through an incredibly stressful period of my life. Thankful I had already began better understanding the role of regulation in my ability to engage with writing and was able to employ strategies to prioritize staying in a state that was productive for me work.

One strategy that helped me tremendously was to build in 10-20 minute walks before and after the writing blocks I pre-planned on my calendar. I intentionally used this time to check in with myself, notice the feelings I currently had about writing and process any thoughts that might interfere with my writing session. The movement itself also helped clear stress and regulate my mood. When I skipped this strategy, I often noticed it took much more time and effort to engage with writing.

Ultimately throughout the experience of writing my book it was reinforced that emotional regulation isn’t a side skill. It’s foundational. It determines whether the tools we’ve collected are accessible and whether our ambition can be matched by our capacity. Perhaps most importantly, it influences whether writing feels like therapy or a threat.

How do you regulate the intense emotions that can interfere with writing? Share your strategies with the community in the comments.